Fertility

“What we don’t need in the midst of a struggle is shame for being  human” - Brene Brown 

Like any other medical issue, infertility is not your fault. You probably have so many ideas, visions and hopes about how your family-building would go, and what you are experiencing is a shocking deviation from those dreams. In that space between what is envisioned, and how one’s story is actually unfolding, many people blame themselves. We can figure out how to soften these thoughts  and feelings, and recognize the grief that comes from a reproductive story gone awry. Greater understanding and witnessing leads to greater resilience, which is necessary for coping with the  unexpected fertility/parenting journey.

Try to be Gentle with Your Self

Infertility is one of the hardest experiences to go through, so it makes sense if you are a “mess,” and you’ve lost much of what you used to enjoy or value about yourself. It is normal to experience fertility and other life challenges with sadness, jealousy, devastation, and pain. Yet, our distress is amplified by self-critical thoughts. If you can learn to be kind to yourself in the process, moving from a “self-blaming mess” to a “compassionate mess” will lead to improved care and resilience.  

All Forms of Family-Building are Important and Valued  

I have a special interest in third party reproduction, and view family-building as a social justice issue. Barriers due to sexual or gender orientation, race, body size, income and  culture are impactful, and our medical system is rife with inequities and implicit bias.  Through my value of inclusivity, I aim for my clients to feel seen and held with all of their intersecting identities, challenging internal and external messages of who has a right to parenthood. Medical advances have expanded the landscape of family-building, and I hope to be part of normalizing and uplifting families formed in ALL ways.